Beylster's Blog

Olesya's 17th Birthday

2010-02-06T08:20:00.000-08:00

January 27th, 2010, and Olesya turned 17 ... again.
Наступило 27 января и Олесе исполнилось 17 ... снова.

So, I had been wrestling around in my mind what to do for Olesya's birthday. Most of that inner dialog sounded like this: "What about a surprise birthday party with a lot of guests? No. She really isn't that close to a lot of people yet. Should I buy her some awesome surprise present? No. We just started managing our finances together, so there's no way it would be a surprise." This went on for days ... even weeks. I had no clue what to do. Eventually, it was too late to do anything big like that anyway. I was out of options. Fortunately, I had a little help from her on the night before her birthday:

"Not all presents cost money," she told me, as we drifted off to sleep.

What did we already have at home? Candles, a cake stand that we got for our wedding, and some materials left over from making our wedding announcements. So, after work, I went to the grocery store and bought a chocolate cake mix, a carton of whipped cream, some strawberries, and some modest flowers.

I came home from work and banned Olesya from the kitchen, put on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and set to work.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Message, Spock?"
"None that I am conscious of, except of course, Happy Birthday, surely .. the best of times."

I made the cake mix and poured it into this awesome ginormous cookie sheet that someone gave us for our wedding. While the cake was baking, I whipped up the cream. I hate using real frosting because it is so sweet. Whipped cream is just enough to lighten up the cake and dress it up all perrty and all, but not enough to overpower the cake.

The cake cooled. I cut it into 6 square/rectangular pieces, 5 of which I used to make a layered cake. By layer 5, the cake was already too high. A sixth layer wouldn't have fit under our glass cake cover.

On went the cream. Then went the strawberries. And to make a long story short, I made chicken with pasta and had written a poem for her earlier in the day, which I printed in the card I made for her. I did all this by the time Spock managed to sacrifice himself for the Enterprise and get shot down to the Genesis planet.

The end result looked like this:

Here's her reaction when she came down the stairs and saw this sweetness waiting for her:

We ate dinner. It came time to light the cake, which we did. I sang, she blew out the candles, and all that jazz. I stopped the camera from recording only to realize that I had never started it. Let's just say it was the best of times.

Happy Birthday, Olesya!!!

Thin MInts

2009-04-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

So, I was sitting on my sister Emily's couch talking with my fiancee over skype. At one point, the door to the boys' bedroom opened up and my nephew Adam walked out. He was very quiet, as he frequently is when he has just woken up from a nap.

"Adam, come talk to Olesya!" He came over and sat down. "Can you say hi?" He said hi. I then began to give Adam hints as to the kind of things he could ask Olesya. He asked her what her favorite song is: "The Princess and the People-Eater." He asked her what her favorite color is. Adam learned that her favorite color is green - something even I didn't know. So, my three-year-old nephew now knows my fiancee better than I do... maybe... depending on how you look at it.

So, we wrapped up the conversation, I said my goodbyes to Olesen'ka, and we let her go to sleep. Adam left the room. A few minutes later, he came back into the room with an entire box of girl scout thin mint cookies.

Suddenly, I felt extremely torn. In the next few minutes, I would have the opportunity to make many decisions of high influence on my nephew ... but ... those thin mints sure looked good. Adam disappeared from the room for a few minutes. Crisis avoided. He probably just found a nicely colored box and went to go put it back. A few minutes later, he came back with just the plastic-wrapped stack of cookies... opened ... with chocolate-influenced stains around the general area of his mouth. "They're cookies and they're chocolate!" he exclaimed.

He gave one to me.

I ate it.

"Adam, does your mom know that you're eating those cookies?"

"Yeah."

Okay, so at least I asked him, though I don't know how I could possibly expect Emily to absolve me from eating those cookies on the basis of her three-year-old son's accountability.

"Can I have another one?" I asked.

He gave it to me.

I ate it.

He popped another one into his mouth. I thought I'd better confirm with my sister that it was okay that we were eating these cookies. But then it hit me.

"She doesn't have to know."

My nephew can really pop those cookies into his mouth, and I probably exercised just about as much restraint as he did. We kept popping them. There was only one thing left to do.

"Hey, Adam. You want some milk?"

Awesome Dinner Rolls

2009-03-28T19:31:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been trying to simplify my nutrition by making a big pot of something hearty to eat every week. That way, I can just ladle myself a bowl-full of goodness whenever I want. Three weeks ago, it was a chili-like minestrone soup with corn bread. Two weeks ago, it was a lentil soup with ground turkey and tofu, also with corn bread. It actually was pretty good, and I did eat multiple bowls of it, but there was just so much of it, that it lasted into this week, when my appetite fell through the cracks and I started eating this huge plate of mint brownies that the Bishop's wife gave me.

Thank you, Sister Wright! I am still eating those brownies ... and it's all in the name of, uh, ... overtraining recovery. Yeah, that's it! I NEEDED to eat all that sucrose because my body was depleted.

So, I had to throw the last few servings of the lentil soup away. I should just make less next time.

So, today, I made this big-ol' whoppin' pot of beef stew. Mmmmmmm.... As I was shopping at Food Lion tonight, I saw this stew meat that looked very nice and seemed reasonably priced, and I immediately thought, "Ah-HAH! There's my pot for this week." No, I'm not on pot.

Then I thought that the stew needed something to accompany it, but corn bread just didn't seem to fit the bill. Fortunately, I have my trusty Russia Yekaterinburg Mission Cookbook, with plenty of awesome recipes from my MTC comp, Elder Todd Tyler. Love that guy. Need to find his contact info.

Out of all his recipes, the one that I make the most is called "Rolls in 60 Minutes." I hope you don't need me to explain why the recipe has that title. This is the recipe that I make the most probably because I have never had the forethought to make other bread recipes that actually require you to let the dough sit and rise overnight or for several hours at a time. I like to think of it as being an expression of my spontanaity, rather than my laziness.

The thing about this recipe, however, is that it yields about 40 rolls. So, I made them in all sort of shapes and sizes. The pan that I am the most pleased with had six rolls in the shape of a pyramid, with a little crossed peak at the top, and the other six were spherical, also with a little crossed peak. It got me thinking, "Oh, cool. These are like hot cross buns, since they're hot, they have a cross on them, and they're buns," except that I have no idea what real hot cross buns are. Maybe mine qualify, maybe they don't.

But they look GREAT!!!

They look kind of Tudor-like, as if they had come from the kitchen of King Henry the VIII himself.

And they taste good, too.

How's that for the most random blog entry you've ever read?

Snatching Again

2009-03-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

Since the Rosetta Stone world tour seems to have ended, I've been able to get back into some olympic-style weightlifting, which is SOOOOO fun! Why, do you ask? Why is it so cool to sling iron around? Gee, I wish I could answer that question. Let me offer a few reasons:

It's unique. It is so different from what everyone else at the gym is doing. Go to the gym and do curls, and you'll be in good company. Do squats, and other guys will take you seriously. Do snatches and high pulls, and people will think that you're either really weird or really cool, to both of which I say, "Great! 'Works for me!" I have this personality thing that says that I have to be special ... different ... unique, so I look for constructive ways to be all of those things, always trying to keep my pride in check...

... which leads me to add that there's a stereotype out there that guys that go to the gym are just vain jerks that only think of themselves. That may be true of some gym rats, but not more so than in any other arena of life. Plus, the same qualities that contribute to a person being a jerk are the same qualities that prevent such a person from achieving any significant success in the gym. Those guys usually get lazy and leave anyway, since they're not getting what they want.

The community rocks. The truth of it is that the more I interact with olympic lifters, powerlifters, and bodybuilders alike, the more I'm impressed with how un-jerk-like they are (pardon the terrible overuse of the word "jerk" but this IS a post about olympic weightlifting). Most of these guys really respect you, regardless of who you are, where you come from, or what you haven't achieved yet. They're just glad you showed up. Most of them are ready and eager to help you with your lifts and to ask for help with their own. They respect the success that other people have experienced and are genuinely happy for them. Bear in mind that this is a description of the weightlifting/bodybuilding community at large. If you look at the community within olympic lifting, o-lifters have an even more supportive community. Again, pardon the terrible pun. This is when my brother Mike would say, "Thank you for your support," and I would say, "Don't be such a jock!"

Anyway...

It's productive. O-lifting is all about goal setting and gradually working toward the realization of these goals. You might argue that I could be spending this time setting goals about getting an MBA, developing a rich stock portfolio, yada, yada, yada, to which I say, "Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof." There's plenty of time for that.

Here's a video that my friend Glen took while we were snatching in our friend Jeff's garage in 2007. The video is old, but it's pretty representative of what snatching is and where I'm at now in my progress.

It's relaxing. It's so great to just clear your head of all the business of today's world and just focus on getting the bar over your head and up in the air.

It gives me something to do with my disproportionately large traps.

It's so stereotypically Russian. I know we shouldn't propagate negative stereotypes, but this one doesn't seem so negative. I love this sport because it helps me to feel a connection with the athletes in it. Take for example Russian Beijing 2008 silver medalist Evgeny Chigishev. What a cool dude! And do you know why? Not only can he snatch 211 kg, but he is also a humble person. Fancy that! Definitely not the stereotypical, self-centered gym rat that many people are so afraid of.

For example, in this brief interview from the 2007 Russian Weightlifting Championships(toward the end of this clip), Chigishev says words to the effect that "I'm very grateful that there's such an interest in this competition."

Notice also, that while he is speaking to the reporter, his beautiful wife is standing next to him, and if you listen carefully, you can here the squeaks of his little son, which is not visible to the camera. Big man, beautiful woman, pure little son ... Ahhh. That is sweet!

It's inspiring. Chigishev was stabbed, I believe, in the shoulder, and so he had to skip the olympic games in Athens. But, he healed up, trained up, and went on to take silver at Beijing. That's such an inspiring story to me about how a person can experience set backs, but still pick themselves up and move forward.

In addition to that, after winning the 2008 silver medal for the over 105 kg weight class, Chigishev could have said anything he wanted to the reporters about how cool Beijing is, how cool he is, and what not. What he chose to say was, "I just want to say hi to my wife and son. I love them very strongly."

So cool.

What's even cooler, is that my fiancee knows of my fascination with this sport, and with Evgeny Chigishev in particular. Once she said, "I'm not interested in Evgeny Chigishev. I'm interested in Dale Richards." It's just cool to know that the girl I love perceives me that way. Good stuff.

Distance Relationships are Crazy

2009-03-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

My fiancee and I have this little predicament. We live 8 time zones apart from each other. She lives in the greater Moscow, Russia metropolitan area. I live on the east coast of the United States. This situation has its advantages, which I am going to try to list and try even more to feel like it's better this way:

1. Hmm... trying to think of some advantages...

2. The distance helps us to focus our relationship on friendship. Well, that is only partly true. It's true that our relationship isn't founded on physical affection, since we can't have any. But Olesya and I share a little romance every day, whether it's a skype call, a facebook message, or a wall post. In the absence of all these, I can always reach into my pocket and squeeze her heart with my hand. Actually, it's a little felt valentine of her heart that she gave me on the Valentine's Day after we were engaged. It has my name written on it with little beads.

3. The cyber nature of our relationship affords us many opportunities for internet sillyness. We have skype to thank for that. You see, when you make a skype video call, there's a big window where your partner's video is displayed, and another little window where you can see your own video (the stuff that is being broadcast to your partner). The thing is, when I get behind a web cam, I have great difficulty resisting the temptation to make funny faces. It's fun when you are just looking at your own video. But now that I also have Olesya watching, I often wait for a moment when she's not looking at the computer screen. Just then, I'll concoct some wacky face and hold it in position until she looks back at me. She looks and then laughs. It's a great way to see her smile, which, in case you didn't know, was cannonized by Elder Bednar as being "The Smile of the Plan of Salvation," or a testimony that the plan of salvation is true.

Olesya dishes her own fair share of sillyness back. My favorite is when the video call freezes up just as she's making a ridiculous face. That's usually when I reach for the "print screen" button and preserve that moment for later enjoyment, as was likely the case with this screen shot. Sometimes, I do it without the call freezing up, but I have to be quicker on the draw.

4. Because of the time difference, the only times that Olesya and I can usually talk are early in the morning, during my lunch break, or late at night. That means that she is one of the first people I talk to and one of the last, as well. Plus, it means that I get to see a lot of her as she has just woken up. No makeup, no glamour, and as beautiful as ever.

So, there you have it: The advantages of maintaining an internet romance. Doesn't that sound inviting? Just know, my friends, that if you decide to pursue this route, there really is no substitute for holding the one you love in your arms.

Olesya, I love you. 'Talk soon.

Arrival in London

2008-11-06T02:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is about London that makes me want to blog ... probably just that I used to be so good at blogging when I lived here, but that was before the word "blog" even existed. 'Flew into London Heathrow Terminal 5 on Saturday morning at around 10:00 am. After waiting for my audio engineer and finding our driver, we got to the hotel, checked in, I washed up, and crashed on my bed for a quick nap. Steven, the owner of the recording studio here, picked us up from the hotel and took us to the studio so we could have a look. It's a pretty nice operation. Steven has started this business from scratch and has been building it up since 2002. Hence the name ... 2002 Studios.

Steven is very professional and helpful. He arranged the schedule with all the talents, and knows his technical stuff. I'm glad he's here.

After the quick preview of the studio, we went back to the hotel and I fell asleep again. Woke up, went to the store, got some groceries for Sunday (of course including a Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate bar), ate, and fell asleep again.

Sunday, I woke up, had breakfast, prepared for church, and left the hotel for the metro. 'Walked into the metro, inserted my debit card into the metro ticket machine, and the machine swallowed my card. I couldn't get it out. The station attendants all tried to help me. They called an engineer and everything, but the engineer couldn't come right away, so we concluded that the card wasn't going anywhere, so I bought a day card to get into town. I was concerned that the debit card problem had caused a considerable delay that might make me miss sacrament meeting, but by the time I arrived at the Hyde Park chapel, a sign said that the Britania singles ward didn't start until 2:30. I was right on time!

I met several interesting people at the Britania ward: Ryan is English and is a facilities manager for a London office. Sergey is Russian, is from Latvia, and works in finance. Leif is Swedish, but is ethnically a quarter everything. He speaks American English very well and has family living in the states.

Anyway, back to Sacrament meeting. London has always had associations of Romance for me, so I decided to gird up my loins and sit next to a pretty girl, which I did. She wasn't very talkative ... mostly just kept her nose in her scriptures the whole time before the meeting started. Several minutes into the meeting, another young man came and sat between us and put his arm around her. "I knew it. She has a boyfriend."

As I sat there, Kristen Green walked in and sat a few rows in front of me. It was nice to see a childhood friend from the Oak Hills Stake. Kristen is getting a masters degree in London... That is, living in London while getting a masters. Her masters isn't in London.

After church, I walked the few blocks over to the Royal College of Music. I walked up the steps toward Royal Albert Hall and looked back at the college and a flood of memories came over me. I thought about the trumpet lesson that I had in that room over there, I thought of the concerts I had attended, and of Andy, and how friendly and personable of a teacher he was. That was such a magical time.

As I walked back toward the metro, I thought of how different I am now, socially, emotionally, professionally, personally and considered which changes were positive and which were negative. I think I've grown a lot since then, but there was something in my step, in my smile, in my naïveté, in my innocence, in my heart that was different. Of course, that thing was Katrina Feller. As much as I would like to not think of her, being in London kind of makes that impossible. Maybe this trip will be helpful for me ... you know, a little more closure.

Campbell's Vegetable Beef

2008-10-28T15:57:00.001-07:00

Arghghh!!

Professional development, career planning, GMAT, PMP certification ... Do I really want to stay here and make a long-term contribution or should I be pursuing something else? 'So much estimation instead of thorough planning ... Why don't those people know what it takes to produce this stuff? They must be totally oblivious! And why can't they see that I have so much to contribute?!!!

Boy, the fall foliage here is beautiful.

Application due dates, fees ... How and the heck am I going to find the time to prepare for this test? I'm going to be all over the planet in the next two months! How am I going to study? A better question yet, how am I going to pay for all this schooling? It's expensive! Ah, but just think of the experiences, the people, the skills, and your own marketability! It will pay for itself! But, will it really? Do I even want to pursue this?

I should just call Nange to say hi and see how her kids are doing.

What's up with this Project Management stuff? Do I even want to get certified and make this my life? I don't seem to have enough hours in the day to plan this out, make a decision, and then pursue it and keep myself healthy and fit all at the same time.

Sometimes, you just want a bowl of Campbell's vegetable beef soup.

Mijn ouders

2008-09-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

Ik heb een heel grote gezin. Mijn moeder en vader hebben acht kinderen, van die ben ik de zesde. Mijn vader werkte in lokale overheid voor vele jaren. Nu is hij een verhuurder. Hij heeft ook en uitgeverij. Hij publiceert enkele boeken voor mijn moeder. De uitgeverij is niet groot. Het is een kleine bedrijf.

Mijn moeder speelt viol. Zij speelt heel goed. Zij vindt op de viol spelen leuk, maar zij vindt om de muziek te geven leuker. Zij is een heel goed lerares. Zij heeft enkele boeken geschreven. Eén boek heet "Hoe de kinderen te oefenen stimiuleren werden niet gebruikt geweld." De anderen boeken zijn voor het leren op de viol te spelen.

Mijn ouders zijn heel goeden mensen. Ik hou van hen. Onze relatie is interessant, omdat ik een volwassen ben. Ik ben ook enkel en geen vrouw heb. Mijn ouders willen dat ik getrouwd ben. Ik wil ook getrouwd zijn, maar ik heb de goede vrouw niet gevonden. Mijn ouders en ik zijn het eens dat ik heb de goede vrouw vinden nodig, maar zij willen dat ik haar een beetje sneller vind.

De bergen in Utah en in Virginia

2008-09-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Hoi iedereen. Ik leer Nederlands met Rosetta Stone. Ik denk dat het belangrijk is om mijn niewe taal gebrujiken. Daarom ga ik deze blog items schrijven.

Ik heet Dale. Ik woon in Virginia. Ik woon hier al twee jaar. Ik kom uit de Verenigde Staten, uit Utah. Ik ben daar geboren in 1980. Mijn familie woont daar al 40 jaar.

Utah is een woestijn. In Utah zijn heel groote bergen. Waneer ik kom naar de vliegveld in Salt Lake City an, Ik kijk met grote ogen uit de vliegtuig naar de bergen. Ik denk dat de bergen in Utah heel mooi zijn. Ik vind Utah mooi, maar ik vind Virginia mooier, omdat Virginia groen is. Ik weet dat de bergen in Virginia niet heel grote zijn, maar Ik ben blij dat in Virginia bergen zijn.

Deze zijn de bergen in Utah.

Deze zijn de bergen in Virginia.

Learning Korean

2008-07-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

I'm learning Korean with Rosetta Stone. It's made the Korean language extremely accessible to me. Korean is really much easier than one might think. Here's a brief description of my family:

저희 가족이에요.

This is my family.

저희 아버지 세요.

This is my Dad.

저희 어머니 세요.

This is my Mom.

저는 형 두명 이에요.

I have two older brothers.

저는 누나 새 명이에요.

I have three older sisters.

저는 여동생 두명이에요.

I have two younger sisters.

저는 우유를 마서요.

I drink milk.

Dale Carnegie - Quote 1

2008-05-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lot of Dale Carnegie lately. I figure the man's got a decent name, so he must have decent ideas. (Juhhhhhhst kidding - no, I'd like to think I'm not subject to such logical fallacies). Lately, I've been reading How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: Time-Tested Methods for Conquering Worry. Here is one quote, with the original text in English and my own translation into Russian:

Whether in war or peace, the chief difference between good thinking and bad thinking is this: good thinking deals with causes and effects and leads to logical, constructive planning; bad thinking frequently leads to tension and nervous breakdowns.

And now in Russian:

Во время войны или мира, главная разница между хорошим мышлением и плохим заключается вот в чем: хорошее мышление анализирует причины и последствия и ведет к логичному, действенному планированию; плохое мышление часто ведет к напряжению и нервному расстройству.

I like this quote because it helps me to recognize that there is a simple, logical approach to solving problems. If the Truth will set you free, then it's good to find out how. 'Might as well find that out and then act accordingly to become free. Comments are welcome.

Mothers Day Sacrament Meeting Talk

2008-05-10T23:36:00.000-07:00

On the wall next to my dining table hangs a beautiful portrait of my mother playing the violin. It was painted by my brother Kirk during the early stages of his art career and education. The portrait is painted so that the viewer seems to be looking from the side and slightly from behind my mother, whose face radiates a serene reverence and joy from the beauty of the melody emanating from her instrument.

Disclaimer: The violin is merely a tradition in my family. It is not necessary for all mothers to play the violin. However, I would like to share some thoughts today, some about mothers, and others addressed to mothers. On the way, I might use the violin as a symbol of what mothers and parenthood are all about.

I. The importance of mothers

The importance of mothers in God’s divine plan

We lived before we came to this earth. We were the spirit Children of our Heavenly Father, who created us in His image, taught us, and gave us the freedom to walk in his ways. To help us become more like Him, he prepared a plan, by which we could all come to Earth to gain a physical body and learn from our own experience. The role of mothers in bringing God’s children to Earth is more than obvious.

President N. Eldon Tanner taught, “The whole purpose of the creation of the earth was to provide a dwelling place where the spirit children of God might come and be clothed in mortal bodies and, by keeping their second estate, prepare themselves for salvation and exaltation. The whole purpose of the mission of Jesus Christ was to make possible the immortality and eternal life of man. The whole purpose of mothers and fathers should be to live worthy of this blessing and to assist God the Father and his son Jesus Christ in their work. No greater honor could be given to woman than to assist in this divine plan, and I wish to say without equivocation that a woman will find greater satisfaction and joy and make a greater contribution to mankind by being a wise and worthy mother raising good children than she could make in any other vocation.”[1]

The closing words of the Old Testament, written by Malachi, state:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord:

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”

Heavenly Father’s divine purpose for the family is for it to serve as a basis on earth and continue its existence in heaven. Mother-child relationships are not for this life alone, but are intended to last beyond this life into eternity. Without this binding of generations together and the perpetuation of the family beyond the grave, the creation of the Earth would have been a waste. Logically, the vast beauties of the universe were created merely as an ancillary to motherhood and not the other way around.

The importance of mothers in the life of the child

Children reap numberless benefits from loving mothers. Daughters often become like their mothers. Sons often seek for wives that in some way display characteristics similar to those of their mothers. My sister Becky relates: “I think it is funny to realize that I have turned into my mother. All the things I said I'd never do, I do INTENTIONALLY.”

Children draw great personal security and strength from both parents. The Lamanite young men in the armies of Helaman developed great faith that led them through dangerous times. While other Nephite warriors were perishing, these young men stood firm and undaunted. “…yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and [Helaman] did remember the words which they said unto [him] that their mothers had taught them.”[2]

Sharon Darling, president & founder of the National Center for Family Literacy said, “Those fond times spent in a rocking chair reading with your mom are more than memories. They are critical for children’s future academic success. That’s right, your performance on tests and in school is greatly influenced by your mother’s education level and involvement in your schooling.”

“Many moms wonder what they can do to help their children be successful in school. The answer is surprisingly simple. Many of the things parents do with their children as they work, play, read and talk together have an impact on the skills needed to become a confident and competent student. Singing songs, making up silly rhymes, talking about what you see, pointing out letters and words in the environment and reading together are just a few activities parents can do.”[3]

Mothers play a crucial role in helping their daughters become mothers. My sister Emily’s second son came two months early. She relates:

“The night Adam was born was pretty traumatic. It was an emergency surgery to be followed by a difficult and stressful recovery. The surgery happened around midnight and I spent the entire night desperately wanting to call my mom. (I think in my highly-drugged state I even remember wanting to call her "mommy" a few times.) I waited until 8:00 am EST to call, so I wouldn't be waking mom and dad up in the middle of the night. I felt so much better when I finally got her on the phone. I think later she even said I don't have to wait until 6:00am to call next time. … she promptly ordered her plane ticket and made the necessary adjustments to her plans for the next week. She arrived at my door only 5 minutes after I came home from the hospital. She was there when I needed her the most.”

From my sister Ellen: “A little over a year ago, Mom gave me some very sudden advice about one of my children and completely took me by surprise. I called her the next day so that we could discuss the matter further in private, and I will never forget that phone call. Not only did we spend longer on the phone than I have ever talked to her in my life before, but it put so many things into perspective for me that I hadn't ever understood before and am only beginning to understand now. Also, I've come to realize that she has been putting a whole lot of thought and prayer and seeking for inspiration into this whole family thing all the way along. How did she make it look so easy when we were younger?”

The importance of mothers in the church and nation

President Herbert Hoover gave this incentive: “If we could have but one generation of properly born, trained, educated and healthy children, a thousand other problems of government would vanish. We would assure ourselves of healthier minds, more vigorous bodies, to direct the energies of our nation to greater heights of achievement.”[4]

Brigham Young taught: “…mothers are the machinery that gives zest to the whole man, and guide the destinies and lives of men upon the earth … The mothers are the moving instruments in the hands of Providence to guide the destinies of nations. Let the mothers of any nation teach their children not to make war, the children would grow up and never enter into it.”[5]

II. Things mothers can do to nurture and to lead more joyful, effective lives

1. Emulate divine attributes

Though I’m not sure how it works, most mothers seem to already be all-knowing and all-seeing. All parents would do well, however, to run their homes parallel to the way Heavenly Father runs His divine plan: with justice and mercy.

Don’t be afraid to establish clearly defined laws within your home. “… if there was no law given against sin men would not be afraid to sin.”[6] You must have rules, but do not stop at merely making up rules. Be sure to establish pre-determined consequences for both the obeying and the disobeying of family laws. By doing so, you have created an environment in which your children can make use of their agency, just as God did when He created Adam and Eve and gave them commandments and consequences for disobeying them. Imagine a home where there is no law. What kind of nurturing could happen there? “And if there was no law given, if men sinned what could justice do, or mercy either, for they would have no claim upon the creature? But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be god.”[7] One might paraphrase, “And if there was no law given … the works of justice would be destroyed, and Mom would cease to be Mom.”

A law without clear consequences is merely a whim, or a threat. Be fair to your children by clearly communicating rules and expectations in advance. “Where there is no law … what could justice do?” Even Heavenly Father pardons those that have not the law given unto them.

Find ways to establish just laws. Then help your children keep them, but remember to be a “just [Mom], and a merciful [Mom] also.”

2. Trust God while holding to His Word

There is no better source for reading up on God’s attributes than the Scriptures. Again from Alma: “For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.

“And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.”

3. Exemplify Obedience

Again from the account of the armies of Helaman, “Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness;” Such exactness is not taught by word only, but by example. The mothers of these young men could have taught their sons such strict obedience only by being obedient themselves.

Once, as my family sat around the dinner table, the conversation turned to some friends of ours that had left their church and removed their temple garments. My mom said with an air of caution: “Don’t people realize what kind of peril they put themselves in?” She may not remember this experience, but it made such an impression on my mind that I have never forgotten it. I shall always remember how dedicated my mother is to her temple covenants.

4. Seek conversion

King Benjamin taught his people to “remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.

“And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.

“And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.

“But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.” My sister Angie had the recent insight that seeking conversion and humbling oneself before God will naturally lead parents to do all the rest of these things. Putting forth so much effort into the teaching and rearing of children may seem daunting, but when we humble ourselves first and seek to be converted, the rest will come. Diligent parenting is a natural outgrowth of conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ. For as Jesus Christ taught Peter, “When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” Another paraphrase: “When thou art converted, strengthen thy children.”

5. Point children to Christ

Build family traditions that point your children to the Savior.

“For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; … And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”[8]

When my siblings and I were growing up, we pulled out a wooden manger after Thanksgiving and left it out for the Christmas season. A bag of straw remained hidden in a nearby cupboard. Each time we did a good deed for someone else, usually in secret, we removed a piece of straw from the bag and placed it in the manger. Our goal was to ensure that the manger was full enough for baby Jesus when He arrived. It remained vacant until Christmas, when the baby Jesus, represented by a small doll wrapped in swaddling clothes, was placed by my mother in the manger in time for Christmas morning. Before opening any presents, before the rush and awkward juvenile tension of Christmas began, we sang Christmas carols together, made our procession to the manger, and quietly paused to behold the newborn Son of God reverently resting in the manger. My, what a clever mother I had. Not only did she enjoy the benefits of children serving one another during the Christmas season, but she instilled in us at a very early age a testimony of the divinity of Jesus Christ and His mission to the Earth.

6. Keep perspective

Again, from my sister Becky: “A couple of years ago, Mom's violin was sitting in it's case on the shelf where it goes. One of my little boys who shall remain nameless Kendall walked passed, [and] barely touched it. The lid fell down and cracked the instrument. I felt terrible mostly due to the fact that I had NO money to be able to repair it. Mom went ahead and got it fixed and NEVER SAID A WORD. I didn't dare ask about it, because I was afraid of hearing the answer. Finally I got up the nerve to ask her what it had cost ($800). I was sick over it, but she pointed out that accidents happen and it was just a thing, less important than the person.

“We have a lot of nice instruments in our families. We could try to keep them all in pristine condition and they would sit on a shelf and never be touched...except by adults...still not foolproof...or we can use them for what they're intended.”

Becky continues: “Although [Mom] was never satisfied with the state of the house (when we were growing up), she never let that worry get in the way of the time she spent developing children. She could have been so consumed with the day-to-day up-keep that she might not have ever gotten to the truly important things. As [my husband’s] mom says, "Children are only yours for a short time. The house will always need to be cleaned."

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior taught, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” He also taught, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”[9]

[1] N. Eldon Tanner, No Greater Honor: The Woman’s Role. New Era. January, 1977.

[2] Alma 57:20-21

[3] National Center for Family Literacy (NCFL). Mothers Can Improve Children’s Academic Success by Reading. April 2008. http://www.newswise.com/articles/view/539997/

[4] Quoted by President David O. McKay, Conference Report, April 1931, pp. 79–80.

[5] (DBY, 199–200)

[6] Alma 42:20

[7] Alma 40:22

[8] 2 Nephi 25:23,26

[9] Matthew 6:19-21

Moscow, Russia - October, 2007

2008-04-15T22:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I’m way behind on reporting on my travels … way behind as in, I haven’t reported on last year, so I’d better catch up.

Aside of my weightlifting ventures to exotic places like … Johnson City, Tennessee, the biggest trip that I took in 2007 was to Moscow, Russia, where I gave a presentation on the Rosetta Stone Russian product at a conference hosted by the Russian State University for the Humanities (Российский Государственный Гуманитарный Университет). It was a wonderful experience because:

- I got to travel to Russia for the first time since my mission.

- I gained valuable professional experience.

- I met a lot of wonderful people whose focus is to teach Russian either as a foreign or second language. Many of these people were from the Moscow area, but many were from other parts of the Russian Federation or other countries, like Germany, Italy, and South Korea.

The opportunity resulted from collaborating on the Rosetta Stone Russian product with Nyusya Milman-Miller, professor of Russian Language and Literature at Virginia Tech. She had a connection with the RSL program at RSUH, who in turn invited me to come present at their conference.

So, I applied for a visa, packed my bags, and went on a very long plane ride.

The first thing that I have to say about visiting Russia not as a missionary is that it’s weird. You’re not wearing a shirt and tie, so not everyone is staring at you. You don’t need to feel paranoid that the police are going to stop you at any minute or that thugs are going to give you trouble.

On the plane, I sat next to a pretty cool kid named Radik, in his early twenties, married, lives in Virginia. Flew into Sheremetievo on Saturday morning and was greeted by Elena from RSUH. We got into a cab, I sat in the front, buckled up, and Elena exclaimed to the driver, “You see, Kolya, a western person gets in the car and immediately buckles his seatbelt.” I couldn’t help but respond that I was just familiar with the way Russian cab drivers drive.

The weather on Sunday was perfect. Sunny, temperate, with yellow leaves all over the trees. Woke up very early, went downtown and took pictures of Red Square and other parts of Moscow. Went to church, met up with Dima Mikulin, an elder from my mission, from the Ukraine, now living in Moscow.

Monday was spent preparing for my presentation, registering my passport, meeting the program director at RSUH.

The conference began on Tuesday. We had a general opening session, then lunch. After lunch, I gave my presentation. Unfortunately, right when I got up, my colleague Nyusya’s eyes got really big as she motioned for me to wipe something off of my nose. Apparently, I had a big streak of pen ink that had somehow found its way onto my cartilage.

The presentation went well. It was definitely a growing experience.

The subsequent days of the conference were spent listening to several 20-minute lectures in Russian, some of which were very interesting. One led to a debate over whether the western educational system was better than that of the former USSR. I’m not sure how well received my capitalist comments were, but I made them none the less.

The conference ended and I found myself very bored on Friday. Saturday, a German kid on my floor and I went to the Tretiakov Gallery and saw some incredible Russian master works. The weekend was spent watching General Conference. Monday I returned home.

ETSU Open 2007

2007-09-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I participated in my second weightlifting meet. It was held at East Tennessee State University, about four hours from the Harrisonburg, VA area.

It was a very successful experience for several reasons:

1. Improved technique: When I attended my first meet in Hampton last March, I didn’t know that I wasn’t really doing Olympic lifts. I was power-snatching and power-cleaning, rather than doing the lifts authentically. The former involves pulling the bar for the catch in standing position (bad), while the latter involves pulling oneself under the bar for the catch in squatting position (good). At the earlier meet in Hampton, I power-snatched 60 kg. However, when I started training with Glen and Jeff in April and began learning the authentic lifts, I could hardly snatch the bar properly. Most of the time I spent training on O-lifts has been spent practicing the snatch and gradually working my way back up to 60 kg, meaning that I have made significant progress on the snatch.

2. Personal Record: In addition to improving on the snatch, I managed to apply my newly acquired technique to the clean & jerk and bump up my best C&J by 10 kg, resulting in a new PR. To see the difference between a real clean and a power clean, compare this C&J video with the one from Hampton (in my first blog entry…just scroll all the way down).

3. Higher Total: My total was higher than the previous meet. I was concerned that all the new technique was going to be too much to handle. Fortunately, not only did I not have to settle for anything less than my previous total, I exceeded it!

4. Mental Toughness: After years of stage fright as a trumpeter, I decided that I had had enough of performance anxiety. There’s a reason our minds and bodies respond to things chemically. When performance time comes, I’m going to be pumped full of adrenaline regardless of whether I choose to interpret it as excitement or fear. I might as well interpret it positively and ride it for all its worth!

One thing about this sport that I have noticed is that there is a lot of support from other people, even from those you have never met. It's wonderful to step onto the platform and have other people calling out words of encouragement. It doesn't matter that they don't really know you. They're just glad you're there and that you have the guts to try. They want to enable you. They want the best for you and you feel it. In case anyone thinks there is no teamwork in a sport as individual as weightlifting, the opposite is true.

Another positive thing that came out of this weekend is that I got to spend a lot of time with my buddy Dustin, who also came to see me lift at the Hampton meet. Not only did he operate the camera again, but he did a lot of the driving and dubbed himself my personal assistant, filled my water bottle, and brought me food. Not too many people would travel to another state with you for a weekend, let alone be so ready to serve. How lucky am I to have a friend like that?

Not only did I enjoy great personal success at the meet, I won third place in my weight category and was awarded an overwhelming cash prize of $3.00. I didn't go "downtown to the newspaper" for it, but I did travel to Tennessee. I told Dustin, "Wow! I'm practically a wealthy man, now!" He replied, "Yeah, if you lived in 1880!" Dustin says I should frame my $3.00. I think I will.

On the ride home, we put in some of our mileage on the Blue Ridge Parkway, which affords some incredible scenic views of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The only catch is that almost all the overlooks that had been built by the side of the road were blocked by huge trees. I try to be environment friendly, so please don't think that I'm not, but someone ought to prune those down! We ended up parking at the overlook and then walking along the road until the view cleared a bit for pictures. Virginia is still here, still beautiful, and still open for guests! Fall colors are just around the corner!

Poised and Ready

2007-09-11T20:07:00.001-07:00

As some of you may already be aware, I'm traveling to East Tennessee State University this weekend for my second weightlifting meet. I'm not nervous, but excited to have fun, meet new people, and try my hand at competing again. I've learned a lot about this sport over the last six months and have made some good progress. I may not total much more than I totaled at the Cardinal Open in March...in fact, I may total a little less, but my form will be much better. I'll actually be snatching and cleaning, rather than power snatching and power cleaning. We don't have to go into the details about the difference, but just know that there is one. Maybe we'll have to post some before and after videos to compare. Or not...

If there's one thing I learned from playing the trumpet, it's not to push training before a performance or competition. So, I'm laying off the hypertrophy this week and keeping my routine really light: simply practice snatching and cleaning & jerking the way I'll be doing it at the meet.

In Town for the 4th

2007-08-26T17:40:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, the clouds of busy-ness part, leaving a window of time, and the opportunity presents itself to pack your bags and take a last-minute vacation. That's exactly what happened around June 20th of this year, when my colleagues and I were given five additional days off, an opportunity to fly out west presented itself, and I took it, just in time to attend...

Aerin's baptism! I told Dad that I was coming, but told him not to tell anyone else, so that it would be a surprise for Ellen when I showed up at their family function unannounced. Of course he didn't tell anyone ... except his other half, who didn't tell anyone ... except for Gilbert, who only knew that Grandpa had gone to Salt Lake to pick up a surprise visitor. Of course, Gilbert didn't tell anyone either, except his mom. Regardless of the leak, the surprise was still pleasant, Aerin's baptism was terrific, and we had a great barbeque lunch afterward. Good times.

There were leaks outside the family as well, mostly of my own make. When I emailed an old flame that I would be in Provo for the week of the 4th, I didn't think that the first thing she was going to do was go straight to my older brother's house and tell him. 'Next thing you know, Kirk called me and said, "I hear you're coming into town!" Anyway, kind of a humorous situation.

Of course the 4th of July also means the Provo Freedom Festival. My Dad, Bros, bro-in-law and several grandkids went on a hike to the Y to watch the balloon launch. That was an ingenious idea, by the way. It was a great morning and the mountain afforded a terrific view of the launch. Naturally, and in observance of family tradition, a hike to the Y meant that I had to announce to the world that "I'm at the tip of the arrow!" Unfortunately, the only people that would really understand what in the heck I was talking about weren't with us on the hike. The solution? Cell phones. A couple of quick calls, and before you know it, my announcement had reached all the way from Provo, Utah to Kensington, Maryland ... probably the farthest such an announcement has ever gone. It's a good thing that Ems and her family are two hours ahead of everyone in Utah, since the hike was pretty early, and I didn't want anyone to have to get out of bed for such an "important" announcement. I think Ellen was less fortunate than Emily in that regard. 'Sorry, Ellen.

While at the Freedom Festival, I attended the patriotic fireside and heard the Freedom Festival Wind Ensemble led by none other than Dr. David Blackinton, my trumpet teacher of 10+ years. It was good to see him. I told him what I was doing with my life, to which he of course chuckled and said, "Well, I'm glad you're successful!" He has a very colorful personality - 'highly recommend getting to know him.

Thanks to everyone who hosted Careen and me while I was in town. It was good to see everyone. 'Till our Christmas revels!

The Blackfriars Playhouse - Staunton, Virginia

2007-04-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

I'll bet you didn't know that the little town of Staunton, VA is the home of the Blackfriars Playhouse, the world's only recreation of an indoor Elizabethan theatre (notice the English spelling of theatre - 'just comes out when I'm in a Shakespearean mood). I took a date there last Thursday. We saw A Midsummer Night's Dream. Before the production began, the players asked if anyone would like to sit not in the audience, but on the stage. A few people volunteered. Then they asked if anyone would want to occupy the balcony on the stage, the place where Royalty would have sat. My date and I volunteered. It was AMAZING!!!

Watching the play from up there gave me a new perspective on Shakespeare (I know, I know - Beylster, cut it out with the cruel and unusual PUNishment). After the play was over, we attended the "Talk Back" session, where we got to interact with some of the players. One of them asked how our experience was watching the play from the balcony, since they are the touring company and rarely get to have the audience sit on such a balcony. My response included the sentiments that sitting on the balcony really did make you feel like royalty. It made the production even more intimate. During the play, the players would look at and address us. During the curtain call, the players would turn around and bow to just us. It was a lot of fun.

Keeping Busy at Work

2007-03-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

Projects at work have kept me and my colleagues pretty busy lately. In a way, I think it's helped some of us come together as a team. Everyone realizes that everyone else is in a crunch and that people can only do so much. It makes you chill out when things are uptight and realize that people are doing their best.

My friend Naysan has been particularly helpful in crunch time. He's our instructional technology specialist that ensures that the computers can keep up with the language content. I am personally very grateful to him for making many an evening/weekend phone call to my editor to help her figure out technical problems with her computer. You could say that I would not enjoy as much success at work as I do if Naysan weren't there to help.

So, I rewarded him by letting him beat me in an arm wrestling match. 'Gotta build him up somehow!

Shenandoah National Park

2007-03-08T18:13:00.000-08:00

I-81 runs in a nearly north-east-to-south-west direction, roughly parallel to the Shenandoah River, which in turn runs roughly parallel to the Shenandoah National Park. The park sits on a mountain ridge, adorned by a road called "Skyline Drive." Be sure to exercise extreme caution when driving on Skyline Drive. You're likely to be tempted to pay little attention to the winding road in front of you in favor of looking out at the valley. Before I moved hear, I heard that the Shenandoah Valley was one of the most beautiful places in the United States. I had seen some photographs of how green the valley is, but I was not prepared for what this place would look like in the fall.

I've been to Skyline Drive several times with different groups of friends. There's a chance that I went on the same (or a portion of the same) hike every time. It doesn't really matter, especially if you go in different seasons, as the same hike is likely to be an entirely different experience a few months later.

I think one of my favorite hiking experiences in the Shenandoah was with my friends Richard and Heather. Some friends of theirs also joined us. After the first few stops, we realized that we weren't going to be able to get out of the car at every look-out point. We had initially planned on hiking a six-miler, but because it was already late morning, we changed our plans in favor of a mile and a half. It was a good thing we didn't get there any later than we did, as it was a Saturday and everyone else in the valley also showed up for a quick trip to the mountains that day. Who could blame them on a day like that?

Richard and I thought we'd try our hands at sawing logs the old fashioned way. We tried not to pay attention to the flack we got from the women-folk in our party.

There's plenty to do in the Shenandoah National Park. You can find a hike of just about any length to suit your hiking abilities. Heck, my nephews Peter and Adam have even hiked in the Shenandoah! Be careful if you bring kids along with you, though. You may end up looking like the Ricks.

Olympic-style Weightlifting

2007-03-04T15:21:00.000-08:00

My most recent and most exciting athletic pursuits are in the sport of weightlifting. No, this is not the same as bodybuilding or powerlifting. Here's the brief run-down.

Olympic-style weightlifting is a sport with two events in it: the Snatch and the Clean-and-Jerk. The snatch is when the athlete lifts a barbell from the ground directly into a stabilized position over his/her head in one movement. The clean-and-jerk is when the athlete raises or cleans the bar from the ground to the collar bone level. (S)he then jerks the bar from there into the air and again stabilizes the bar over his/her head.

These two events might seem ... well, ... they might seem to be any number of things. 'Painful' and 'brainless' are two words that you might be thinking. For the record, it's a very precise sport, with a lot of fine-tuned motion. Usually that involves capitalizing on gravity, inertia, and natural movement. In other words, Newton does most of the work, so competing isn't that painful (training is a different story).

As far as the word 'brainless' is concerned, the sport actually requires a tremendous amount of concentration and mental discipline. This is one of the reasons this sport is so compelling to me -- it makes the athlete control his/her thoughts. I'm beginning to see that there is great purpose in athletics.

I just returned from competing in the Virginia Weightlifting Cardinal Open. Somehow, I managed to win first place in the Senior Men's division. I'm not exactly sure how that happened, since I've only been training regularly for a few months. I think it has something to do with the fact that all the guys that were lifting more weight than me happened to be in either younger or older age divisions.